Happy or What?

Am I happy, sometimes I think so.   But a lot of the time I know it should be better.  Sometimes I think IT stole some of my joy and happiness.

My Kenny is fantastic,  he never speaks harshly to me when sometimes I think he needs to shake me and tell me to get off my ass. What would I do if he wasn't a man of tolerance.  He is my happiness and he makes my world even more since IT came around.

My mother tells me that I need to get help, for what, Mom, for what.  Tell me what I have done that warrents that statement, twice I one fucking paragraph.   Sorry, evidently I still a little sensitive.  I thought our relationship had grow so much but just one "oh shit" canceled out all of those "at a boys" in one split second.  Ah, ah, ah, not so fast, life has returns to how it was before IT with my mother.

Oh my precious sisters.  My sisters are/were my best friends, I don't know anymore.  I would do anything for any one of them.  But you keep fucking with the bull, you are going to get the horns.  You reap what you sow.  I really don't think she knew that about me, or maybe she just forgot.  Maybe it my temper that I need help with, hum, who knows.  But any day of the week I'm glad IT got me and not them.  And they don't have that love me or leave me choice.

People said I was a "hero" after IT,  I don't want to be anyone's damned hero.   The only thing I did was live to go on and live  another day.  Nothing special that thousands of people before me hadn't already accomplished.